April172014

Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)

  • Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
  • Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
  • Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
  • Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
  • Dad: Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
  • Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
  • Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
  • Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
  • Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
  • Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
  • Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
  • Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
  • Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
  • Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
  • Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
  • Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
  • Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
  • Dad: Fuck the government.
  • Dad: Fuck the school board.
  • Dad: Close the door.
  • Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
  • Dad: I love puns.
  • Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
  • Dad: Please shut up.
  • Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
  • Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
  • Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
  • Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
  • Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
  • Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
  • Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
  • Dad: They act like I care what they think.
  • Dad: I hate homework.
  • Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
  • Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.
11AM

achievement-hunter:

The posts that pop up during finals week are the best kinds of posts

(via not-just-a-fandom)

11AM

sighstyles:

listen harry potter didn’t know what the fuck he was doing throughout the entire series and he still did all that shit so if he can do great things by without really knowing what he’s doing so can u

(Source: grungezain, via talldrinkoftaylor)

11AM
7AM

talldrinkoftaylor:

7grammysswift:

gena

-met taylor 7 times 

-has been to lots of shows

-got tay to come to her shower

-first video blog in 2 yrs is dedicated to her

she wins

go Gena

7AM
  • People: I can hear your music
  • Me: Me too
April162014

all-too-well:

taylor literally controls my life it’s like you’re either spending the entire year waiting for the new album or your concert

(via onedaytaywillberemembered)

7AM
7AM

whenallthoseshadows:

I NEED NEW TAYLOR MUSIC

I NEED NEW TAYLOR MUSIC

I NEED NEW TAYLOR MUSIC

I NEED NEW TAYLOR MUSIC

I NEED NEW TAYLOR MUSIC

I NEED NEW TAYLOR MUSIC

I NEED NEW TAYLOR MUSIC

I NEED NEW TAYLOR MUSIC

I NEED NEW TAYLOR MUSIC

I NEED NEW TAYLOR MUSIC

I NEED NEW TAYLOR MUSIC

I NEED NEW TAYLOR MUSIC

I NEED NEW TAYLOR MUSIC

(via supportingtaylor)

April152014

swlft:

if the lyrics “but now i’ll go sit on the floor wearing your clothes / all that i know is i don’t know / how to be something you miss” don’t punch you in the heart and make you feel a deep kind of sad then u are not a real person

(via hopingyouwonderaboutme)

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